The Fear Within
by HeavenlyKitten
Summary: Gen. Landry's other daughter must come to terms with events that happened to her during her time in Atlantis and John Sheppard is there to help, but so is Ronon. How will this effect the lives of everyone she knows?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _I haven't put anything up here in a while so I hope you guys like this. Let me know._

**Disclaimer:** **_I do not own anyone or thing in Stargate Atlantis. No money being made here_**.

**The Fear Within**

"Hey how was your trip?" A cheerful voice asked as Lt. Col. John Sheppard and his team came through the stargate.

"It was productive." he said as he put an arm around the small shoulders of the woman that greeted him every time he went on a mission. He was the only one that she truly trusted here. She had came over with Caldwell's group, but he'd known her since she was a teenager. Jessica Landry. About 5'4 petite frame. Long wavy brown hair that stopped mid ways down her back. Bright green eyes that sparkled when she smiled a sincere smile.

"Col. Caldwell thinks that we're sleeping together." her blunt words surprised him and he stopped as they reached the infirmary and looked at her as she smiled up into his face sweetly.

"Did he say something to you?" he asked curiously as she pointed at an examine table for him to sit on.

"Remove your shirt please." she said getting to the matter at hand." Not to me directly, but I heard him talking to Col. Mitchell back home before we came back over here." her voice was soft as she checked him over throughly.

"Oh, did your dad say anything?" he questioned as he felt the coldness of the stethoscope on his skin.

"He didn't hear it, but I'm sure Col. Mitchell will say something about it." she moved away from him as she finished up." You' re good to go."

"Thanks. " he put his shirt back on." So, you thought anymore about what I asked you earlier?"

"Um, I haven't really had time to actually think about anything." she avoided answering him truth be told she was scared considering everything that happened to them all.

"Yeah, and now you can think about it tell me what you've decided." he persisted knowing she was a little scared still. She had been through a lot since coming to Atlantis. Her father even wanted her to go back to Earth, but she refused saying she wanted to face her fears. She hadn't been off world in almost three months. He wanted to help her through this.

"I don't know I have not been off world in what three monthsand to go on a mission with your team I'd have to worry about coming back every time we leave." she admitted honestly as her eyes met John's protective look.

"True, but I can use you out there on the field." he said trying to change her mind" You need to get your life back. Bad things are going to happen all the time. I'm sorry you had to go through all that stuff."

"Give me a little more time." she said softly starting to seriously considering what he was offering.

"I'll give you until tomorrow morning." he said as he kissed her forehead and left her to finish up working.

The last time she was off world with him and his team she almost died. She shook her head as she pushed the painful memories back down inside of mind where she couldn't get to them. John was right though she had to get over and regain control of her life. Besides she'd actually get to be close to Ronon Dex. Since the day he came here she'd been wanting to get close enough to him that they could talk. She wanted to know what kind of a life he had aside from being a runner. She felt drawn to him for some reason and now John was putting her chance right in front of her.

"Hey John, Col. Sheppard wait a sec." she called as she followed him down the corridor.

He was still a little ways a head of her so she ran. Dodging people as she made her way to him. Then suddenly she slammed right into Ronon Dex. He instinctively reached out to steady her.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he looked down at her face. He felt her flinch away from him and he let her go. He saw the fear in her eyes.

"Where the hell did you come from?" was her only response. Her heart was pounding in her chest so hard she could hardly breath._ Get a hold of yourself he's not going to hurt you. _She scolded her self as she regained control of her breathing.

Ronon looked at her then John came up to them.

"Ronon stop molesting my girl here." he teased as he looked at Jessica. Jessica smiled up at Ronon almost apologetically.

"Don't mind John here he tends to speak before he thinks." she said smoothly" I'm Dr. Jessica Landry."

"Specialist Ronon Dex." he took her outstretched hand as he introduced his self. He took in her appearance with a very approved look in his eyes. He still couldn't forget the brief flash of fear. Something bad happened to her once.

"It's nice to actually meet you." she said as she flashed him a smile not missing John's cough.

"Jessica here is going to be joining our team." John informed Ronon as Jessica looked up at John.

"Then I'm sure we'll see a lot more of each other." Ronon said as he walked off from the two of them.

"I can't believe you did that." Jessica smacked John's arms lightly

"What you did agree right?" he questioned as he flashed her his boyish smile

"Yes, I did." she confirmed " Just for future reference don't make my choices known without my consent. It's rude."

"Just don't flirt with Ronon he's not the right guy for you." John said as he looked at her

"I'm interested in him because he's different not because I want to jump his bones." she said " He's quite and that intrigues me." she paused as her eyes met John's" Besides trust me when I say the last thing I need is to get involved with a guy like him. I'll stick with guys like Dr. McKay..."

"McKay?" John questioned her strangely

"... and Dr. Zelenka you know the safe none scary guys." she finished as she tried not to smile.

"Zelenka he's okay, but not McKay." he said as he gave her a smile" I'd rather you be with Ronon."

"My point is I'm not going to be with anyone." She sighed and took a deep breath" I have a lot to work out."

"That's why I want you to get back out there." he said as he kissed her forehead and walked off.

" Careful flyboy I might start to think you care." she yelled to him at the hall.

John was the one person in this place that could really make her doing anything he wanted without giving her an order. She had a thing for him, but she would never say it out loud. Now Ronon Dex she wanted to get inside his head and know this guy. He intrigued her. She was in the infirmary when Dr. Beckett came in with Ronon. He didn't look at her, but she got a gimps of the cut across his upper shoulder. Her doctor instincts kicked in.

"Jessica I need you over here." Dr. Beckett said as Ronon sat on the gurney.

"I'm here." she said as she got what she needed to clean and patch him up." It's gonna hurt."

"I can take it." Ronon said. _No wonder Sheppard was protective of her. She was beautiful, and had a great personality. _Ronon thought as her hands gently smooth the bandage over his wound.

"There you go all better." she told him as she walked away from him.

"She's a little people shy." Carson said to him

He said nothing just looked at Jessica until she was out of his sight. He wanted to know what happened to her. To make her so cautious.


	2. Regaining Control

_**A/N: Thanks for the review it's always great to a writer to know that someone likes their work. I'm not sure who I'm going to put her with, but before she can be with anyone she needs to learn to over come her self. Anyways hope you like these next few chapters. **_

**Disclaimer:**_ I still don't own anyone or thing in SGA._

**Chapter Two**

"It's like riding a bike." Jessica mutter to herself softly as she walked off the jumper. She wore a regulation uniform with her hair swept up into a messy bun. John, Ronon, Rodney and Teyla were waiting for her.

"Relax Jess this is one of our safer missions." John said to her as they walked through some woods. John was holding a low branch out of his teams way until Jessica came through he let it go, but before it hit her face she caught it and glared at his back.

"Careful fly boy." she warned as she fell in step behind him" Pay backs a bitch."

Teyla hide a smile as she walked ahead of Rodney.

Ronon looked over to Jessica as she warned John. There was something about her that made him want to protect her. Something happened to her that caused that brief flash of fear to show up in her eyes. What he didn't need to know.

"You won't do nothing." John said knowing she needed to get her mind off the stress of the mission.

"Really you just wait til we get back to Atlantis I'll wipe the floor with your ass in sparring." she threatened playfully as she dodged another small branch." You keep on trying to hit me with these branches and I just might wack you with one of them."

"Is that a threat doc?" he suddenly stopped and turned toward her in a challenging move

"I never make threats _sir_." she said as she emphasized _sir_ not showing any respect in saying the word.

He narrowed his eyes at her as she looked him square in the eyes not backing down from him. He admired her strength, but he knew she was just calling his bluff.

"You two just need to get a room." Rodney snapped. As he almost fell down

"Aw what's wrong Rodney are you jealous?" Jessica playfully teased as she flashed him a playful smile

"Of course not." he quickly answered" Why would I be?" he felt a little nervous, but knew she was just teasing him.

"Exactly." John said thinking back to his and Jessica's conversation earlier." Besides as I recall Zelenka would be her first choice."

"Zelenka?" Rodney asked alittle put out by this" Why him?"

"John's just being an arrogant, jealous man." Jessica said as she stepped behind Rodney when John tossed something at her.

Rodney dodged it in time.

"Jess now don't play with Rodney's emotions it's not fair." John warned her softly. Truthfully he was a bit jealous his self. Him and Jessica have known each other for the longest time, but both decided they couldn't work together, live together and still remain in a relationship. He was still crazy in love with her, but if she felt the same way she didn't show it. In respecting her wishes he wouldn't make demands for a relationship until she came to him that much he was sure of. The fact that Ronon had caught her eye was a little unnerving, but he could deal with it.

Truth be told she was only messing with Rodney because she was scared. Suddenly without any warning Jessica was laying on the ground her arm in excruciating pain she instinctively grabbed it. It was then that she heard shots being fired and the sound of wraith darts flying around. Fear crept into her spine. She couldn't breath or even move from where she lay.

"Jessica get up!" John yelled to her as he fired back at the wraith. Something was wrong he could tell by the way she just lay there. She was to scared to move." Damn" he swore as he looked over at Ronon silently telling him to cover his back while he went for Jessica.

"Jess I'm coming." He said as he quickly bent down and picked her up.

He could feel her heart pounding hard in her chest and she was breathing hard.

"It's okay you're safe." he whispered to her as they both took cover.

"Thanks fly boy." she whispered softly

Before he could make it back to his team a beam came down taking him and Jessica with it.

"What the hell!" Ronon said" Damn they've got them both."

"Yes, we all saw that now how do we get them back?" Rodney asked knowing that Jessica must be scared out of her mind considering this was the second time she fell into the wraith hands.


	3. Earth Revealed

**Chapter Three**

John woke up in a cold dark cell. He was on a wraith hive ship . That much he knew, but for how long he didn't know. He scanned the small cell and saw Jessica on the ground. She was injured and unconscious he was at her side in a second. She started coming around. Her eyes locked on his face.

"Hey." he said softly as she made a move to set up.

"Damn wraith." was her first words as John helped her up to her feet

"Yeah" He said softly as he looked around for any sign of the rest. _Maybe they weren't taken._ He thought to his self.

"At least we're together." she said as she took in a deep breath to calm herself down." You think the others got away?"

"It's possible that they did." he said hoping that they did

"Then helps going to be on it's way." Jessica said feeling like she was going to be sick.

"Are you okay?" John asked her trying to make this as easy as possible for her.

"Considering everything." she said as she turned to look at him" Thanks for saving my ass. If you hadn't I would be here by myself. I'm sorry." she looked into his eyes as he stepped forward Jessica felt so sick she had to lean forward on John to keep from passing out.

"I'm not. After everything you've been through." he said worrying about her." I'm sorry I pushed you to come back out."

"Okay so we're both sorry." she said needing to get strength to fight the wraith this time" Let's take these sons of bitches down."

"Now, that's my girl." john said giving her a smile as he watched her bend down to do what looked like scratch her leg, but then he saw her pull out a knife." You've been hanging around with Ronon haven't you?"

"Nope, but I do hang around you a lot." she said as she took aim with the knife and was able to opened the doors.

"Well, I'm proud." he said as he took the lead.

"John?" Jessica called from behind him

"It's okay." John reassured her as he grabbed her hand.

A hard jerk and their hands were separated John turned around in time to see a wraith holding Jessica by her throat. John knew there was nothing he could do. Another wraith came closer to him as the wraith closed in his eyes never left Jessica's. The wraith went to grab him, but he attacked the wraith instead and was able to get it's gun. He shot the wraith attacking him, but before he could shoot the other one it took off with Jessica.

"Damn it." he swore as he went after them.

"John!" Jessica yelled as she struggled with the wraith.

She managed to get free, but before she could get away it grabbed her hair forcing her back.

John caught up to them and aimed the gun at the wraith before he could shoot it another one came up behind him and hit him so hard on the head that it knocked him out.

"No!" Jessica yelled as she struggled harder with the wraith.

"Put her in there." it hissed at another wraith

Jessica was shoved into a room when she turned around she saw three wraith one stood in the center of the room. It was a female in a long green dress. Jessica felt shivers go through her. She felt like something was inside her mind ripping it apart. She kept fighting it.

"So much strength." she hissed at Jessica as she stepped closer to her.

"Ah!" Jessica cried as she fought to keep the wraith out of her mind.

"Fear of lose." it hissed as Jessica kept fighting

"Get out of my head!" she yelled

"I've seen you here before." it said as it tried hard to get inside her mind.

Suddenly Jessica fell to her knees and blacked out.

"Take her out of here I'll get what I want from the other one." she hissed as the other wraith took Jessica out of the room.

The doors opened and Jessica came too just in time to see Aidan Ford.

"Aidan." she whispered as she blacked out again

"You will tell me what I need to know." it hissed

"Over my dead body." Lt. Aidan Ford snapped at the female wraith

"That would be an option." she hissed as he fell to his knees" I will drain your strength from you bit by bit, but you will tell me where your home is."

Aidan fought the wraiths power as much as he could. All he really wanted at this point was to go home. He forced the thought back as far as he could so the wraith couldn't get to it. Too many people depended on him to keep their secrets.

"Even when you're weak you've got so much strength." she hissed" It's admirable"

Aidan went to his knees.

"Ah." The wraith hissed as she knelt down to his level" I know all I need to know. Take him away and kill him with the others, but first bring them to me I want to show them what I've learn."

Aidan was dragged out and put back into his cell. He didn't have the strength to do anything, but lay there. His body was going through withdraw and it was killing him. If he could only go home he'd be okay. He thought as he lay on the ground shivering.


	4. Too Dangerous

**_A/N:_ _Thanks for the great review. Everyone wants her with Ronon. I agree there isn't enough Ronon Dex fanfiction out there. Why not? He's very hot and well... Yummy! LOL. There's going to be some more twist and turns before I finally put her with anyone. Don't you think she has great chemistry with Lt. Col. John Sheppard? Or is it just a very close friendship thing they've got going on? Who knows. Well, I'm glad you're enjoying my writing it's been a while since I've written anything so I'm a little rusty._**

**_Disclaimer:_ _I still don't own anything or anyone except my character._**

** Chapter Four**

"What's this I hear about Dr. Jessica Landry being taken hostage by the wraith?" Col. Caldwell demanded as he walked into Weir's office.

"She and Lt. Col. Sheppard were taken during a mission." Dr. Weir said as she looked up at the Colonel. She saw how worried he was for the first time since she met him she understood how he felt.

"I'll get a team ready to search for her." he said as he turned around to leave, but he paused at her door.

"Don't you mean them." Weir said as she eyes him cautiously

"Of course I meant them." he said as he turned around to face her" She didn't want to go on this mission Lt. Col. Sheppard pressured her into it. I blame him for any harm that has come to her."

"Aren't you tired of blaming him for everything?" Weir demanded getting a little angry" She knew the risk and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be blaming a man she considers her best friend for anything."

"We're getting them both back a live and when we do." He paused as he looked into her eyes" Dr. Jessica Landry will be returning to earth even if I have to drag her kicking and screaming."

"You know she won't go willingly." Dr. Weir said thinking to back to how hard Jessica fought her own father to come here. She even went to Gen. O'Neill. She was a great addition to the team. She knew there was something between Jessica and John, but neither one let it distract them from their job. When she was taken the first time John was upset and fought hard to get her back. Now they were both taken and needed someone to fight for them.

"Yes, that's what her father said to." he said softly as he took a deep breath and sat down" I know I can be hard to get a long with at times, but right now all that matters to me is getting both of them back here a live. Jessica will go back to earth and you've got to help me make her go willingly." he rubbed the back of his neck

"I can't make her go it has to be her choice unless Gen. O'Neill or Landry demands it and it has to be in writing." she said regrettably.

"I know that. She thinks she's doing something good here and don't get me wrong she is, but she's too young and carefree to be here." he said "Besides her mother is very sick and she's in the hospital."

"Oh m god." Elizabeth breathed" How bad is she?"

"It's pretty bad. We need to find our people before Jessica loses her mother without saying good-bye." he said as he got up and left

Elizabeth ran a frustrated hand through her hair. Jessica had been through a lot and to lose her mother while she was fighting for her life was to cruel. She and John had to be found soon. Elizabeth looked up to see her office doors come open. Maj. Lorne stood there and he looked like hell.

"Come in Major." she said as he walked in" What can I do for you?"

"I need to know what you think about Jessica and Col. Sheppard's chances." he said as he sat down. He was exhausted, but he wouldn't rest until Jessica was back here and safe. The two of them were close. They went to high school together and stayed in contact for years. He was the reason why her dad even considered letting her come here.

"You're very close to Jessica aren't you?" she asked curiously

"Yes, we're close." he said honestly" There's no one else I'd rather be here with than her."

"It's good to have someone you trust so much here, and I understand your concern for her safety." she said honestly as she thought about her feelings on John's safety." I think they are going to come back to us a live."

"You should know that I over heard Dr. Beckett and her talking about some type of procedure she had done." he said cautiously" He said that it wasn't successful."

"Do, you know what he was talking about?" she asked curiously

"No, I didn't hear it all and thought that if she wanted me to know she'd tell me." he said softly" I do know she was upset and she cried."

"Thank you Major." she said as they both stood up" Go get some rest or you'll end up in sick bay then you won't be no good to anyone."

"Yes Ma'am." he said as he walked out of her office

Elizabeth made her to the infirmary intending to ask Carson what kind of procedure did he preform on Jessica and why was she upset about it not working out? This made her more curious. Maybe it was some kind of experiment that she'd been working on or something. She thought as she made her way down the halls.

"Dr. Weir we found them." Maj. Lorne said excitedly as he ran up to her

Suddenly whatever she was going to say to Beckett went out of her head and she thought only that Jessica and John were safe.


	5. Rescue Mission

**Chapter Five**

"_Please I need you to help me"_

"_Dr. Beckett what can I do?"_

"_I'm sorry it didn't take."_

_"Then you have to try it again. It's her only chance."_

Suddenly Jessica jerked awake to a sitting position. John was standing at the doors of their cell the minute she jumped awake he was at her side. Jessica's hand was resting on her chest as her heart beat wildly . It was just a dream.

"Hey you're okay." He said soothingly as he sat beside her

"Ford's alive I saw him." She blurted out as she looked into his eyes

"Where?" he asked shocked and unsure if he heard her correctly

"When they were bringing me out of the room I was in." She said softly" He looked bad."

"Do you know what they did to him?" he asked wondering if he had made it

"No, I was so weak and I barley saw him." She said as she rubbed her head.

"You need to save your strength." He said as he worried about her. She looked paler than she did before.

"She tried to get inside my head to get the coordinates for earth. I fought her so hard that I passed out." she confessed as her head started to pound hard

"It's okay you're safe and they didn't get anything." he said more to his self than her.

The doors to their cell flew opened and two wraith stood there.

"Your presences has been requested before you die." one of them said as they jerked John and Jessica to their feet.

Jessica felt a wave of nausea and dizziness come over her. She fought them back knowing she was going to need all her strength. They were dragged down the same hall as before, but shoved into a different room. This one was big and had control panels all over.

"You both were strong and stubborn I couldn't get what I needed from you and now that I do have what I needed you'll watch as we take your loved ones first and feed from each of them. Starting with a small child with dark red hair and green eyes." the female wraith from before hissed at Jessica who's eyes widen in shock.

_She knows about my family._

"You see I have someone else who wasn't as strong." the female wraith hissed as the doors opened to reveal Lt. Aiden Ford." Put him over there."

"Ford." John said as he looked over at his buddy who was very weak.

"Dail the address we have for what they call earth." she said

"No!" Jessica yelled as she struggled to get free, but the wraith holding her stopped her

One by one the address was dial, but something went wrong and instead of the gate opening their entire control panel started to shut down.

"I told you, you weren't going to get nothing from me." Ford said as he forced his self up to his feet. He had killed the wraith beside him and taken his enzymes." I also uploaded a virus into your systems."

"Kill them!" she hissed as the wraith attacked John and Ford.

"You I'll take for myself." she hissed at Jessica as she jerked her up to her feet" You have so much strength here." she grabbed Jessica's stomach.

"No." Jessica said as she stabbed the wraith and kicked her away from her. Before the wraith could come back to her Ford killed it.

"Let's get out of here." John said as the trio made their way out of the room.

"I can't go back to Atlantis." Ford said as the three of them were beamed out of the hive ship and landed on the Deadalus.

"Col. Sheppard, Dr. Landry it's good to have you back" Col. Caldwell said as he focused on L.t Ford" Lt. Ford it's about time we have you back. Detain him." he ordered his men

"Easy with him he's been through a lot." John said wanting to protect Ford still

"He's no longer your concern Col. Sheppard he is now mine concern." Col. Caldwell said

"He's my concern because he's a part of my team." John said getting pissed off at Caldwell's lack of care for Ford's well being.

"Was a part of your team." he corrected him" Lt. Aiden Ford has been missing for quite sometime and it is known that he has been in contact with the enemy he will be detained under my orders until I get further orders from Gen. Landry as to what we should do with him." he finished

"He just wants to go home." Jessica said as she passed out

"Have Dr. Beckett meet us at the gate." John said as he went over to Jessica" Jessica can you hear me?"

"What did they do to her?" Col. Caldwell asked as he went to her side

"I think something was wrong with her before she left." John said softly as he held her head

"Then why did you let her go through the gate?" Col. Caldwell demanded

"Because I didn't know then." John said feeling agitated with the older Colonel

Col. Caldwell didn't say anything more it was obvious at how close Col. Sheppard and Jessica was although he didn't approve of it there was no one better for her. Except Maj. Lorne. The Colonel thought as Beckett met them at the gate.

"What happened to her?" he asked as he checked her over.

"She just fainted." Col. Caldwell said as he got concerned

"She was pale and complained of being dizzy and nauseated." Sheppard answered as they made their way to the infirmary with her


	6. Pregnacies, heartaches, and expressions

_**A/N: **I hope you have been still enjoying my story as much as you have been. In case I haven't told you before this story is going to have a huge twist to it that will effect everyone in Jessica's life. Well, let me know what you think of it._

_**Disclaimer:** I still don't own anyone or thing from SGA._

**Chapter Six**

"Is she going to be okay?" John asked Beckett as he examined Jessica who had just opened her eyes.

"She's okay now." Dr. Beckett said as he looked back at Jessica" She needs to rest."

"It;s okay I wouldn't want John to leave for the world." she said as she smiled at him affectionately.

"So, what's going on with my new team member?" John asked as he sat next to her and held her hand.

"I want to speak to Maj. Lorne before my condition is told to anyone." Jessica said softly as she felt a twing in her stomach

"Why can't you just tell me?" he asked feeling like he wasn't going to like what she was about to say." Why do you want to speak to him before telling me?" his mind wasn't wrapping around anything only the fact that his ex flame and bestfriend was asking for another man.

"Because it's not my choice." she said as he held her hand then let it go." I'm sorry, but you'll understand later I hope."

"I understand that after all we've been through you don't trust me." he said as he walked out leaving her alone.

"John don't..." to late he already walked out. She shut her eyes and felt like someone ripped her heart out. She would explain to him later. He'd understand. She'd make him.

"Hey Jessica Dr. Beckett said you were asking for me." Maj. Lorne said as he came in and sat right beside her

"We were wrong the procedure took." she said as she looked into his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he looked down at her stomach.

"He said it was why I passed out and got sick.." she explained softly as both their hands went over her stomach.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he took his free hand and rubbed her forehead" I thought I almost lost you, but I knew that Sheppard would die before letting you die."

"I'm fine, but John doesn't know about why I wouldn't talk to him." she laid back against her pillows" He thinks I don't trust him."

"We have a lot to decided now." Lorne said as his mind raced at the possibilities of what was going to happen

"No, you do because in eight months my part will be done." she told him as Ronon came into her room." Hey you."

"Hey." Ronon said as he looked at Lorne then to Jessica

"I'm going to go find Col. Sheppard and let him know to come talk to you." Lorne said as he stood up

"Don't tell him anything just yet I want to tell him my self." she told him as he nodded and left.

"What's going on?" Ronon asked as he sat down next to her

" Well, Ronon let me tell you a story about two friends so close to each other that they would do anything." she paused as she adjusted her self on the bed. Ronon didn't know where this was going, but she sounded upset so he listened to her as she spoke." Maj. Lorne and I have been best friends for the longest time. Even before I met John. Lorne met this girl one of Teyla's people. They came to me about a month ago." she paused again as she took in a deep breath" The girl got pregnant, but she couldn't carry the child so with Dr. Beckett's help the fetus was implanted inside of me. I agreed to carry their child for her, but I was told that it didn't take. Now there's proof that it did. The mother died during a wraith attack." she finished as she took in a shaky breath." She was a sweet woman. She loved this child and was hurt to her core when Dr. Beckett said that the procedure didn't take." She took in a deep breath.

"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying." he said as he held her hand gently

"This child that I am carrying is not mine. I'm a surrogate mother." she said as she took in a deep breath" Um, let's see..." she tried to think of an easy way to explain it to him." I'm a carrier for another woman." she looked up into his eyes hoping that he would understand.

"I know what you mean." he said reassuringly" I knew a woman that carried another woman's child for her." it was nice to hold her hand and sit with her. He no longer saw fear in her eyes. He saw hope. Love. A kindness that went beyond outwardness. It came from within her very soul.

"I just hope that John would be just as understanding." she said as she allowed her self to think of Ronon as more than just an intriguing person. He was very sexy. Nice body. Dangerous eyes. Maybe she was just experiencing hormones, but she would be one very happy woman if he leaned over and kissed her among other things. At this thought she mentally shook her self. _Stop it girl John warned you not to flirt with him. You like smart guys like Rodney... Whoa maybe not him, but Zelenka. Yeah guys like Ronon are not good for you. _She chided herself mentally as Ronon's eyes locked with hers.

"You didn't hear anything I just said did you?" he asked curiously wondering where her mind went while he was talking.

"Sorry." she said as a soft blush crept up to her cheeks.

"You need to rest. I'll be back tomorrow." he said as he stood up.

"I'm only staying for the night." she told him not sure why she said that

"Then I'll make it early." he said as he left.

She smiled as she laid back against the pillows and closed her eyes. _Wow me pregnant._ She thought as she fell asleep.


	7. Confessing

_**Disclaimer:** I still don't own anyone or thing in SGA_

**Chapter Seven**

"Hey have you seen talked to Col. Sheppard?" Lorne asked Jessica as she was coming out of her room. It had been four days since they came back. John hadn't spoken to her since he left her in the infirmary. She was upset that he didn't want to talk to her.

"No, I have not, but you can bet your ass he will talk to me today." she said smugly as she tilted her head up to see him clearly since he was a few inches shorter than her.

"I told him he would need to talk to you about everything." he said as they walked into the mess hall.

"Let me guess he thinks we're sleeping together." she said as she met John's eyes from across the room." Why does everyone think I sleep with every man I come in contact with?" she didn't let her eyes drop from John's as she said this.

"Just try not to get upset because it's not good for the baby." Lorne said as he smiled at her.

"I know Dr. Beckett told me all this stuff." she said as she finally dropped her eyes from John's and looked up at Lorne" He also said that sex was great for the baby when I get in my later months." she laughed as Lorne rolled his eyes at her and then walked over to a table.

"Col. Sheppard we _need_ to talk." she said stressing the word _need _

"Can it wait til I finish my food?" he asked in his arrogant tone of voice as he continued to eat.

"No, _sir_ we_ need_ to get this over with **_now _**" she insisted as she stormed out onto the balcony.

John looked at Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney as he got up to leave without a word.

"Don't you ever use that tone of voice with me again." she said to him without raising her voice an inch.

"You're the one that decided I wasn't good enough to confide anything in." he said to her as he faced her.

"Because it was not my..." she stopped as she took a deep breath_ don't get upset its not good for the baby. _She reminded her self." John I'm pregnant." she blurted out

"And it's Maj Lorne's." John stated as he looked into her eyes

"Yes, it is, but John..." she tried to explain, but he interrupted her

"I don't need to know details." he said as he started to walk away

"I'm a surrogate mother for the woman that was killed by the wraith. The one that was a close friend of Teyla's." she rushed the words out so fast she wasn't sure if they even came out right, but they must have because he stopped in mid step and turned to face her.

"What?" he questioned as things started to fall into place.

"That young woman with the long curly dark hair her name was Kaylia. Her and Maj. Lorne grew close enough to have conceived a child. She couldn't carry it so while she was still in the very early stages Dr. Beckett took the fetus from her body and placed it in mine. At first it seemed like it didn't take, but it did and that was why that female wraith placed her hand on my stomach." she said as she released air" She wanted this child inside of me, but couldn't get because I refused to let her have it. I didn't even know for sure until we came back."

John was quite for a while. He walked over toward her and leaned on the rail as he looked out into the ocean.

"Say something John." she said as she touched his hand gently

"I don't know what to say." he said feeling like the world's biggest ass. He was jealous and all she was doing was saving a life." I'm sorry for how I was acting."

"It's ok." she said softly" I told Ronon about it because he came to see me after we came back." she paused as she leaned against John's body for warmth." He's actually quite an interesting person once you get him to talk to you."

"Yeah, he is." he said feeling a bit jealous, but at the same time relived.

"The next eight months are going to be rough for me so no more going off world with you or anyone else." she informed him as they sat there. John put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"I always thought your first child would be ours." he confessed softly

"This is not my child it's Lorne's. My DNA is not in the child at all." she told him

"Yeah, I know, but it's still inside of you." he said as he turned her to face him and then touched her stomach." There's a little life in there growing right now as we speak it's getting bigger."

"I know who would've thought me pregnant ever." she said as she placed her hand over his.

"I'll help you anyway I can." he said as he looked into her eyes. He was now seeing her in a new light. She was carrying a child inside of her. He always knew she'd looked cute pregnant. He just wished they had, had a child when they were together.

"Just be my best friend like you've been doing. Dr. Beckett says my pregnancy and the way it is will be rough at best." she told him as he embraced her.

Neither one of them said anything else they just stood there and held each other. John stepped away from her slightly.

"I suggest you go in there and eat. You're eating for two now." he said as he ushered her inside.

"I am hungry." she said as she grabbed a plate and stepped in line.

"No, I'll get your food." he said as he grabbed her plate and used his authority to get a head of people." Here, I got all the stuff you like plus the healthy stuff you need." he handed her the plate as they sat down at the table. She sat next to Ronon who just raised a brow up at her.

She smiled at him silently telling him that she had told John everything. The only thing she didn't say to John was that she was starting to think of one of his team members in a way that would have him acting all protective over her. She ate her food and glanced up at Ronon who was looking right at her. She smiled at him and returned the smile. This was going to be a tough time for her, but she'd get use to it. Just no stress.


	8. A Difficult Birth

**_A/N: Hey thanks for liking my story. It's taking longer than I thought to finish this because I got writer's block. I hope you still enjoy it._**

_**Disclaimer: I still don't own anyone or thing in SGA.**_

**Chapter Eight**

The next few months were hard for Jessica. The morning sickness hit her harder than she thought it would and the adjustments her body went through were rough on her. Here it was A month before she would give birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl and she was pacing the gateroom floor. John and his team went off world, but haven't been heard from in over twelve hours. She was worried. Lorn's team went to search for them over six hours ago. Now the father of this baby was also missing and she wasn't sure, but she thought she was having contractions. They were almost half an hour apart from each other so Dr. Beckett said it was most likely false labor. She thought back to the beginning of her pregnancy. The first time the baby moved she was sitting in the lab with Dr. Beckett examining Ronon when she felt it.

"_Okay Ronon let's see what you got yourself into now." Jessica said as she looked over his wound on his shoulder. It wasn't bad, but it needed to be tended to. All of a sudden she felt something in her stomach. She took in a sharp in take of air and placed her hand on her stomach._

"_What's wrong are you okay?" Ronon asked concerned._

"_I'm fine. I think." she said as she smiled_

"_Was it pain?" Dr. Beckett asked as he came over to her_

"_No." she said as she took Ronon's hand and placed it where she felt the flutter at" You feel that?"_

"_Yeah." he said in amazement" Is that the baby?" _

"_Yes it is." she said as she felt the warmth of Ronon's hand through her shirt. Her heart did a little dance as he left his hand there and felt the baby move again. She looked into his eyes and smiled excitedly_

"_Is this the first time you felt a baby move son?" Dr. Beckett questioned_

"_Inside the female yes it is. I've never been close to a pregnant woman before." he said wondering how a woman could handle such things. He looked into her eyes and shared a heart warming smile with her._

A smile touched her lips at that fond memory. It was at that moment that she realized Ronon Dex was not only a very complex man, but he was someone she wanted in her life. Even though her and John had a past together they both knew that they didn't work together. They had grown into the best of friends. They had been through a lot together. She also didn't want to live her life without him in it. She silently prayed that they both were brought back to Atlantis safe and alive. She sat down on the stairs and rested her elbows on her knees. She inhaled deeply and exhaled trying to calm her nerves. The alarm went off indicating that a worm hole was coming through. She jumped to her feet and her heart went to her throat. She stood there hopeful.

"It's Col. Sheppard's ID." she heard someone say.

"Open the gate." Elizabeth said as the gate was opened.

"We need medical here now!" John shouted over his comlink.

The first person she saw was Rodney. He looked rough, but otherwise okay. Then she saw John. He was hurt, but standing on his own. She saw Teyla who was being supported by Ronon who was bleeding pretty badly. The last person she saw was Lorn who was being carried by another soldier. He was unconscious and blood was everywhere.

"Oh my god." Jessica said as she went to Lorne's side.

"He was shot in the shoulder when he fell he hit his head." A soldier said as she examined Lorne.

"Dr. Beckett he's bad." Jessica said as she felt a twinge of pain.

"I've got him you go see to the others." He said knowing how close she was to Maj Lorne

Jessica turned around to go see to the others when she felt a sharp pain in her back as well as in her stomach. It was so intense it knocked her to her knees.

"Jessica." John said as she went to her side. He noticed her pained expression on her face

"I'm fine I just need to sit a while." she said as she felt another pain. _Not now it's not good_ she prayed as she heard Maj Lorne's voice.

"Is she okay?" He asked as they let him rest beside her.

"I'm fine I think we might be having this baby today." she confessed softly. At least he was awake.

"Put me next to her so I don't miss the birth." Lorne said as John lifted Jessica in his arms and carried her to the infirmary.

While Beckett worked on Lorne's shoulder Jessica worried about having the baby. She wonder how she would do it. Hours went by and the contraction were getting closer. She was a month early, but she expected considering the situation she was in. Lorn was groggy, but awake and laying by her side when she finally gave birth to his little girl.

"Here's your daughter Major." Dr. Beckett said as he let Lorne hold the baby.

"What do you think her name should be?" He asked Jessica who laid back against her pillows and gazed at the child

"Faith." she said weakly

"Faith." Lorne said as he looked into her tiny face. It felt so amazing to hold his child in his arms. Wow who would've thought that he'd have a child. Who would've thought that Jessica would've been the one to give birth to his first child. He loved Jessica, but not romantically. They were friends nothing more. This was a big gift she gave him. He looked over to Jessica one last time and noticed she was passed out.

"Dr. Beckett she's losing a lot of blood." a nurse said

"She's hemorrhaging." he said as had Maj Lorne moved to another side while he worked on Jessica

Lorne was scared that this could make him lose another important woman in his life. He prayed that her sacrifice would not be her life. The nurse took Faith from him to clean her up. Lorne laid there in bed worrying about Jessica who was now fighting for her life.


	9. The First Meeting To The Last GoodBye

**A/N:**_ Thank you all so much for liking my story I'm actually enjoying this story myself. I've been busy lately so I'm still slowly trying to finish up this story. I don't have writer's block anymore so that's a good thing. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. This is going to give some background on John and Jessica's past. Some SGC characters will make an appearance. Enjoy the chapter_

**Disclaimer:_ I still don't own any one or thing in SGA or SGC_**

**Chapter Nine**

"_Col. O'Nell I'm Jessica Landry." she started, but was interrupted by the approach of a blond woman._

"_Sir you're needed at the gate room." the woman said as she looked at Jessica." Oh hi, I'm Samantha Carter."_

"_Hey, I'm Jessica Landry I was told to report to you sir when I got here." she informed him clearly as she smiled politely_

"_Yeah, you're the new intern that needs to go to the infirmary." He said to her as him and Sam walked her" You'll be here the majority of the time."_

"_Thanks sir for showing me here." she said softly as she turned around to go inside._

"_She'll work out fine." Sam said as she and Jack walked out._

"_Yeah I know she will. She'll be great to have on field as well." he said_

_In the months that followed Jessica became comfortable in her place of work and even made friends with Jack O'Nell. Her and Sam grew close as well. She was walking into a store to pick up some stuff when she ran into this guy. She stumbled backwards knocked off balance by the small impact. The guy's hand reached out to steady her. She looked into the most gorgeous eyes. He was air force that much she knew from the uniform. He must work in the normal air force._

"_Thanks." she said as she felt her cheeks grow warm. He still hadn't let go of her arm which she didn't mind._

"_No problem." he said as he looked at her face." I'm John Sheppard and you are?"_

"_I'm Jessica Landry. She stepped back out of his arms and stretched out her hand._

"_A pleasure to meet you." he said as he took her hand in his. He was amazed by her softness even though he knew she worked in the air force. He knew her father and had heard many good things about her from her father._

"_I don't normally run over cute guys in the store, but I just got off of work and I'm tired." she said as she gave him a sweet smile._

"_Then you really should join me for a drink if not tonight then tomorrow night after you get off from work." he couldn't let this woman pass him by._

"_Well, it's the least I can do." she said as she smiled" How about we go get a drink?" _

"_Thought you'd never ask." John said as they walked out._

_Whatever she needed could wait until in the morning._

_It seemed like that day opened a new door for Jessica and she suddenly had a full life. In between work and her new relationship with Maj. John Sheppard she had a very healthy life. Like every other night she was leaving work going to John's house and then leave in the morning to go to her house. She pulled into his drive way and took a deep breath as she opened her door and walked up to his front door. She was about to knock when the door flew opened and a pair of strong arms pulled her inside. Soft lips crushed her in a sweet kiss as large hands roamed over her body._

"_Where the hell have you been?" his voice whispered in her ear as her rained kissed all over her body_

"_Sorry Jack and talked a while after work." she said as her breath caught in her throat as she felt her shirt slide down her arms and his lips touched her lace covered nipples. _

"_No more talking I've been waiting all day for you to come home." he said as he swung her up in his arms and carried her to his room._

_She didn't miss the fact that he called his place home when he referred to her being late. He placed her down on the bed and kissed her as he finished undressing her. He looked up at her as he saw that she had matching pink lace underwear. She smiled at him sexy._

"_They're new." she paused as she put her finger to her lips seductively" Just for you."_

_He kissed her deeply as they made passionately love the whole night. The next morning Jessica woke up to the sun brightly shining down in her face. She rolled over and immediately connected her soft arm with John's. She jumped up._

"_Oh god what time is it?" she asked_

"_After ten I think." John said in a sleepy voice._

"_Oh no I'm late for work." she said as she scrambled to get her stuff together._

"_No, your not." John said softly as he sat up. The sight of her naked rushing around was really turning him on._

"_I was supposed to be at work by nine this morning." she said as she hurried to button up her shirt._

"_Your boss called I answered your phone and said you would be there late." he said as he looked at her face._

"_John I could kill you right now." she said as she kissed him._

_She showed up for work around eleven. To her relief Jack was out on a mission. So, he wouldn't say anything to her until he saw her again. Things went well for John and Jessica for the next two years, but they ended when he got moved to the Middle East and told her not to wait for him. Life went on, but she never forgot about him nor did she forgive him._


	10. While you Slept

**A/N:**_ Thank you so much the reviews this story is quickly becoming one of my favorites to write. I'm not sure how often I'm going to be able to update it_

**Disclaimer:**_ I still don't own anyone or thing in SGA_

**Chapter Ten**

"How is she doing?" Lorne asked when he walked into the infirmary and took a seat by Jessica's side. It had been three days since Jessica had given birth. She had been in and out of consciousness. He was worried about her. Faith was still in an incubator because of the distress she was under when she was born. He wondered if he should tell Jessica or if he should just wait until Faith was better. He reached out and held her hand.

"She's doing as well as can be expected. She woke up a little while ago, but then passed back out." The nurse said as she checked Jessica's vitals.

"Is Dr. Beckett with Faith now?" He asked softly as he kissed Jessica's hand.

"Yes, he is. She's doing great." the nurse reassured him

" Thanks." he said as she walked away from him." Jessica I know you can hear me so listen to me as I say please pull through this. You're my best friend and I can't imagine a life that you're not in. If it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have Faith now. You are the reason why she is even a live." He rested his forehead on his hands that were fisted around Jessica's left hand. To lose his best friend as well as his daughter would be too much. With the wraith coming closer to Atlantis and the people back home being in danger. This was almost to much for him to bear. Yes, he was a solider sworn to protect his country no matter what the cost. What if that cost was the life of his best friend? Could he live with that? A sudden hand on his shoulder jerked him back to reality. He brought his concerned expression to the concerned look in Col. Sheppard's eyes.

"Hey." John said not knowing what else to say to him as he looked at the woman he once loved more thank anything in his life. He would admit if only to his self that he screwed that one up. He now saw his mistake, but he wouldn't come in between whatever her and Ronon were starting to develop. He could tell that it was strong between them just by looking at them. Now looking at Maj. Lorne's concerned expression he also saw the feelings there to. Damn Teyla for opening his eyes to how people really feel.

"Hey sir." Lorne said as he Turned his attention back to Jessica who still didn't wake up." She's resting now."

"You know she's going to wake up and yell at us for sitting by her side as long as we have." John said as he watched the young major. "I went by to see Faith she's expected to be released from the incubator tomorrow."

"Yeah isn't she beautiful?" The proudness in his voice showed as he smiled at John.

"Yes, she is." he agreed.

"I've got to get back to work." Lorne said as he reluctantly got up to leave." You know sir she really still loves you."

"She loves us both I would think." John said as he took the seat that Major Lorne occupied.

Lorne walked out leaving the Colonel alone with Jessica.

"So, Jessie it's me and you, you can open your eyes now." he paused as if waiting for her to open her eyes." I miss you. I know I screwed up with our relationship, but I thought I was doing pretty well with our friendship. I can't lose you now." he held her hand tightly as he sat there." Do I still love you? Of course I do and I always will." He took his free hand and stroked her hair gently. She was still warm to the touch. That was good at least she was still alive. She looked like she was sleeping. He remembered many times waking up to her beautiful sleeping face right next to his. Her soft breath gently kissing his face. Her hair would be wild and all over her pillow and his. Her small arms curled under her cheek. Her legs tangled in his. He would give anything for her to just open her eyes and tell him to go to hell.

"Hey, Col Sheppard." col. Caldwell greeted as he walked into the room.

"Hey sir." he said as he gently let go of Jessica's hand.

"I was hoping Jessica would be awake." he said

"Yeah, so were we all." John said

"I told this to Dr. Weir and now I'm telling you." He started as he pulled up a chair." Jessica's mother was really sick she wasn't expected to live. I should've told her this when she first came back before we knew she pregnant, but then we found out she was pregnant and there was no way she could go back through the gate. I've kept this to myself until now. Jessica's mom is now out of the woods she's expected to make a full recovery, but she does want to see her daughter soon. The General has requested that she be sent home as soon as she is fully recovered." He saw the regret in John's face at the thought of her leaving. He also knew that Ronon would take this hard as well." He's also saying that she may not be returning."

"You're telling me that after everything she's been through her father is just going to snatch her out of here like it never happened?" John asked knowing that he had to tell Ronon who was not going to like this very much.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." he confirmed

"Does she get a say in this?" John questioned" After all it is her life."

"Right now no she does not." Col. Caldwell said as he turned to leave.

John turned his attention back to Jessica who was still out. He gently picked up her hand and held it." Oh, man Ronon's not going to like this. You need to wake up so you can keep him calm." He pleaded with her.


	11. Sealed With A Kiss

**Disclaimer:**_ I still own no one or thing in SGA._

**Chapter Eleven**

Jessica woke up to the faint sound of complaining. Her eyes still shut she knew the voice that was going on and on. It had to be Rodney. She slowly opened her eyes to the brightness of the lights in the infirmary. She carefully turned her head to the sound of Rodney's voice and saw him laying on a table next to her. A nurse was trying to give him a shot of some kind. His face was puffy and bright red. She looked at him strangely and then shut her eyes trying to clear her vision, but when she opened them again she saw the same thing.

"Rodney what the hell happened to you?" she asked curiously causing Rodney to jump at the sound of her voice

"You're a wake." he said as the nurse stuck him with the needle" Owe. Someone go get Col. Sheppard and Maj. Lorne." he got up to go over to her

"You shouldn't get up after getting that..." Dr. Beckett couldn't finish what he was saying cause Rodney fell to the ground." Shot it makes you weak."

"Owe." Rodney said as Dr. Beckett helped him up and back into the bed he was in.

"You had a severe allergy to something you need to rest." Dr. Beckett order.

"Is he going to be okay?" Jessica asked concerned

"He'll be fine if he rest." Dr. Beckett said as he turned his attention back to her" Now, you Lass gave us all quite a scare." he told her as he checked her over

"All I did was give birth to a baby girl." she said softly" It must have tired me out more than I expected."

"You passed out shortly after you gave birth and you started to hemorrhage. You lost a lot of blood. You've been out of it off and on for almost a week." he informed her

"Oh my god. How is the baby?" she asked as her heart rate went up a little

"Calm down lass she's great. She gave us a little scare too, but she came through it just fine. The Major was expected to bring her home today, but I think he'll make an exception in this case." he said as Lorne , John and Ronon came in.

"Hey look who wants to see you." Lorne said as he brought Faith over to Jessica.

"Aww, look how cute she is." she said as Lorne put Faith in her arms" She's got ten little fingers and ten little toes. Oh wow she's beautiful." her face was beaming as she looked down into Faith's face.

"Thanks to you she's here." Lorne said as she handed Faith back to him.

"You boys were really worried about weren't you?" she asked her face still beaming from her interaction with Faith.

"Just a little bit." John said playing it off as nothing big.

"Don't let them lie to you lass all three of them were here by your side all hours during the night." Dr. Beckett announced.

"Aww, you guys love me admit it." she teased

"I'd love to stay and agree with you, but Col. Caldwell is leaving and I have to go to get her settled in." Lorne said as he placed a kiss on her forehead and left.

"He's going to be a great father." she said as her heart felt like it swelled ten times. She wanted a baby of her own someday just not now.

"Yes, he is." john said as he and Ronon moved to be by her side

"How are you?" Ronon asked as he reached for her hand

"I'm good now that McKay is out." she said as she tightened her grip on Ronon's hand. This was a man she wanted, but she knew she had to give her self time to heal. There was just something about him that kept pulling her to him.

"Yeah, he got bit by a bug off world and well you know the rest." John said as he tried to suppress a laugh.

"Oh, yeah the first thing I hear was his voice." she said as she smiled

"I tired to tell him that there was a bug there." Ronon said in his defense.

"But he knows it all and wouldn't listen." Jessica finished for him knowing Rodney.

"Your dad wants you to go back home." John said knowing that Ronon was still unhappy about the whole thing.

"Did you tell him I'm not going back?" she questioned

"Jess your mother was very ill she's just made it through and your father is afraid of losing you." John tried to explain it to her

"So, in other words you finally decided to follow orders." Jessica spat out" Okay I'll go back, only to make sure my mom's okay then I'm coming back here and I will so kick your ass when we spare again." she promised him as she adjusted her self to a more comfortable position.

"I'll hold you to that." he said as he looked from her then to Ronon" I'm going to go." He got up kissed Jessica's cheek and walked out leaving the two alone.

"It won't be for long." she told him

"It'll be long enough." he said as he leaned closer to her and rested his forehead against hers.

"I still have time here. I have to be completely recovered and It'll take a week for the Deadalus to get back here. We have almost a month together." she reminded him

"I like your way of thinking." he said as he kissed her.

She returned his kiss basking in the heat that his kiss caused in her. She was most definitely coming back if only for this man right here in her arms kissing her lips.


	12. From Dream to Reality

_**A/N:** Sorry I have not updated in a long time, but real life took over for a while. In between, my boyfriend, my job, and finding out that I'm going to be a mother for the first time my life just got busy. I hope you like this chapter I'll try not to make it to confusing, but it's got a twist in it._

**Disclaimer:_ I still don't own any one or thing in SGA._**

**Chapter Twelve**

Jessica's eyes opened to a dim lite room. Her shoulder felt like it was on fire. For a moment she was confused as to where she was. Then it hit her. She was dreaming about being rescued. None of what she thought was real ever happened. This meant that she and John were still on the wraith ship. Fear crept up her spine as the reality of it set in. She sat up painfully and saw John sitting next to the cot she was laying on. He had a gash on his forehead and he looked like he had been through hell and back. As she adjusted herself John woke up and looked at her. Their eyes met for a brief second. Her heart fluttered a little.

"Easy we almost lost you." he said as he helped her up just to touch her was like coming home all over again.

"I had this dream that we were saved and I found out I was going to be a surrogate mom for Maj. Lorne." she took a sharp in take of breath as pain hit her hard." Then me and Ronon started to get closer to each other and you let them order you into forcing me to go back home because my mom got sick." she finished as she now sat fully up. She hoped they were rescued soon because then she could anaylise her feelings for John.

"Well, obviously none of that has happened." he said as he sat on the cot next to her. He thought she was dead when they brought her in here and now to know that she was alive was like a big wash of relief.

"Damn wraith why can't they just leave us a lone" she said frustrated as she put her head carefully on John's shoulder. It was nice and comforting.

"Because we're food for them." John said off handedly" I didn't know that you were attracted to Ronon" he felt a little jealous, but dismissed it.

"Aww, John are you jealous of him?" she teased trying to forget her pain

"Should I be?" he questioned as she lifted her head

"Not unless you have serious feelings for me." she said wondering if the pull she felt was the same pull that he felt too

"I've always loved you and always will, but we're friends now." he said trying to hide his feelings" If you and Ronon have a chance at something you should go for it." even though it hurt him to say that he knew it was the right thing. She deserved to be happy and if that was with Ronon then he had no choice, but to step down.

"Yeah friends is good."she said as stood up with John's help

"Yeah it is." he agreed reluctantly

"I mean we wouldn't want anything to get in between our working relationship." she said trying to hit a nerve somewhere inside of him that would allow him to say how he really feels.

"Right." he said as he gave her a curious gaze.

A moments of awkward silence lay between them as neither one wanted to keep up the charade, but didn't want to express their feelings before the other did.

"Knife." he heard Jessica's voice say to him

"What?" he asked thrown off guard for a second

"If you give me a knife or something I can get us out of here." she explained

"You've been hanging around Ronon too much." he said as he handed her a knife

"Okay just aim and throw." she threw the knife and hit her target the doors opened freeing her and John.

"Nice work." he said as he got in front of her.

"Thanks." she said as she smiled

As they made their way down the corridor they encounter a few wraith that were easily taken out. John tossed her a gun as he took one for his self. They made their way to the hangers, but encountered more wraith. Jessica ran out of ammo then John ran out, but before they were taken again by the wraith they were beamed off the ship. They were on the deadalus.

"Well, Col. Sheppard you seem to always be in trouble this time you've almost killed an innocent person."Col. Caldwell said sternly

"No, you're not blaming him for this. If he hadn't saved my life by risking his own I would be dead by now." Jessica said as she glared at Col. Caldwell

"Well, you shouldn't have been put in that type of situation to begin with." he stated firmly

Before she could say anything John grab her and they walked to another part of the ship before she went off on Caldwell and made things worse than they needed to be.

"You can't seriously be letting him get away with blaming you for all this." she demanded

"No, I'm not, but don't let him get to you. I'll handle this." he said.

"Okay, fine." she said as she stormed off away from him.

John closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. This woman was more frustrating than any man he's ever trained.


	13. Going Home Is Good For The Soul

**A/N:**_ I know it's been forever since I last updated, but I've been out of town for a while. I went to Rochester, New York to see my future in laws. So, I know the last chapter was kind of confusing, but I didn't know where I was going to go with the story so when the idea to make her have dreamt everything came up I went with it. It'll all make sense before it's over with. I hope you guys still are enjoying this._

**Disclaimer:_ I still don't own anyone or thing in SGA._**

**Chapter Thirteen**

The next few days John did his best to avoid Jessica knowing that she was angry at him he didn't want to have a confrontation with her yet. He had just arrived at the sparring room for his match with Ronon when the doors opened he saw Jessica sparring with Ronon. He watched them for a while. He had forgotten how good she was at fighting and defending herself. Most if not all she had learned from him. He saw the moment when she saw him and that was when Ronon took the upper hand and knocked her down. Before she had time to react he had her pinned so hard to the ground that she could hardly breath let alone move.

"You should never let your guard down the moment you do that you become vulnerable and that is when your attacker will take you down just like I did except they'll have a gun or weapon and will more than likely kill you." Ronon said to her as he helped her to her feet. He saw the sweat on her brow as it rolled down the side of her face. He also noticed the sweat that formed between her breast. In the bra top she wore he could see a lot of her cleavage. She had a nice figure to her not to thin, but she wasn't fat either. Curves in all the right places. No wonder John was so protective of her if he had a friend like her he would be just as protective. He notice John sitting on the sidelines.

"You know Ronon you are absolutely right." Jessica said as she gave pissed glare in John's direction" I should never let my guard down not even when I trust the person I'm around you never know when they might stab you in your back." with that said she went over to her bag and pulled out a towel to wipe off with.

Ronon could sense the tension in the room and knew that something more was going between her and John.

"Sometimes the person you think stabbed you in the back really isn't the one." John said not really defending his self, but trying to let her know that he didn't have a choice in the decision that Col. Caldwell made about her leaving."They could've been trying to pull the knife out."

"Or push it deeper in." Jessica snapped as she picked up her bag" I'll see you same time tomorrow Ronon. Kick his ass." she walked out the door as she made this last comment.

"She's upset at you." Ronon stated the obvious.

"She thinks I agree with Col. Caldwell's decision about her going home." John said knowing Ronon didn't need an explanation, but he needed to explain if only out loud to his self.

"You don't think she needs to go home." Ronon said as John prepared his self.

"Maybe just to check on her mother and reassure her dad that she's okay, but not for good like Col. Caldwell is trying to do." John said honestly

"Have you told her this or just assumed she had the right to be mad at you?" Ronon questioned

"I've tried, but she's been so angry I've just avoided her all together until now." he said

"So, you took the cowards way." Ronon stated the obvious truth.

"I prefer to say the smart way." John said

Ronon said nothing as he and John sparred. Half way through Ronon noticed that Jessica had come back in and she was watching them. He could see how John would let her stay so mad at him. Just as the match was over and Ronon got the upper hand he shoved John toward Jessica so hard that he actually fell into her knocking her to the ground. As John tried to keep his weight off of Jessica Ronon quietly left them alone.

"Are you okay?" John asked as he sat up off of her. He offered her a hand to help her up.

"Yeah, just knocked the wind out of me for a second." she said as she took his hand.

They both sat on the floor staring at each other wondering who should make the first remark.

"Look, I tried to talk Caldwell out of making you go home." he started figuring he might as well get it over with now.

"It's okay, I've talked to my dad. " she informed him softly" I told him I was only coming back for about a week then I was coming back here." she smiled at John

"He's only worried about you." John said" Truth is I worry about you to and when we were taken hostage I thought I was going to lose you."

"We almost lost each other." she reminded him" It's like I told my dad every person here and home puts their life on the line everytime they step through that gate. You can't make everyone of them go home just because they nearly died therefore I'm coming back." she wanted him to say he would miss her and couldn't wait for her to come back.

"It'll do you some good to see your family for while," was all he said.

"I gotta go pack I leave in a few days." she got to her feet and turned to go toward the door.

"I'll walk with you." John offered not wanting her to leave his sight just yet.

The two walked in silence all the way to Jessica's room then John left. All he had to say was that he'd miss her and he didn't say it. Jessica felt like she was losing something important. She just didn't want to know what. This time at home would do her some good.


	14. Everyone Deals With Grief Differently

**Chapter Fourteen**

Jessica had been home for over a week when she got some devastating news that changed everything for her. Her mother was put back into the hospital because of cancer. She was sitting by her side holding her hand when her dad came into the room. The machine indicating that her mother's heart had stopped had been long shut off, but Jessica could not move from where she was. She didn't want to believe what was being said. Her mother couldn't be gone. After all she had went through this was the worst that could happen to her. Nothing could be any worse. Not the what the wraith had done. Not John braking her heart once again. Not even her father choosing now of all time in her life to be protective. She felt his hand warm and gentle on her shoulder. A sign of comfort she was sure.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." was all that he could say to her.

" When do I go back to Atlantis?" she asked wanting to not talk about the obvious.

"How can you talk about work now at a time like this?" He asked concerned that she was using work as a way to hide from her feelings.

"Because it's what we do dad." she retorted then stood up." I can't change what happened and it doesn't feel like it's real..." she took a deep breath" Please dad I just need to get back to work. I need to process this in my own time my way."

"Okay. " he took a deep breath as he looked at the woman that he once loved enough to have a child with. His was using all his strength now not to brake down" Col. Caldwell is about to leave within an hour if you want you can leave then or in two weeks when he comes back." He half hopped she would chose the later knowing she needed time to deal with everything.

"I need to go home and pack some things." she said dashing his hopes

"Okay I'll let him know you'll be going." he said still fighting to hold his self together.

"Thanks dad." she said as she walked out. She needed to breath that room was sucking the life out of her like it did her mom. Tears started to fall down her cheeks as she opened the door to the apartment her and her mom shared. It smelled like her. It held signs of her everywhere. Every little nook. Jessica couldn't take anymore she sat on the floor and cried until her eyes burned from no more tears. Her mom was gone. She was never coming home. Jessica would never feel her arms wrapped around her. It hurt to breath. She carefully got up and went to her room. She packed up clothes that she would need and bath supplies. Everything she needed for Atlantis. That was the one place that she could go that would not remind her of her mom.

Gen. Landry told Col. Caldwell that Jessica would be returning with him and he also informed him that her mother had just died. Col. Caldwell promised to keep a close eye on Jessica. They were waiting at the gate when Jessica finally showed up. She was in civilian clothes with her down and curled at the ends. She had a little makeup on.

"Sorry I'm late." she said as she looked at both men.

"You're right on time." Col. Caldwell said

"Be careful." Gen. Landry said as he hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead

"You too." she told him

"Come on the rest are waiting" Col. Caldwell said

"Bye dad" she said as her and Caldwell walked through the gate.

"Sir you ok?" Col. Mitchell asked concerned

"I watched my daughter close off her emotions just like a trained solider." he said still staring at the gate that had long closed.

"People deal with grief in their own way." Cameron said trying to reassured the much older man

"I know, but she's not just a 'person' she's my daughter." he said" I'm going to visit my other daughter if you need me I'll be in the infirmary."

"Okay." Cameron said as he followed the general out the gate room

Gen. Landry knew that he couldn't help Jessica now because she didn't want help, but when she needed him he would be there for her. He just hoped that she didn't do any damage to herself or anyone else before she came to terms with what happened. He caught a glimpse inside her eyes and saw so much pain there in her depths that he almost forbid her to go. She was his little girl and she was going through the worst thing she could go through right now. All he could do was let her go off and handle this her own way. He sighed deeply as he found Carolyn. She was working on a patent. He smiled proudly as he watched her. Both his daughters became great doctors and worked in the military. Only one of them decided to go to Atlantis and fight for the greater good there. He feared for her life everyday, but he knew she'd come through it. Col. John Shepard was there with her and he would protect her with his very life. That much he was sure of.


	15. Back To Work

**A/N:**_ Hey sorry I haven't updated in a while, but being pregnant is really starting to be a lot for me...LOL. I love every mintue of it. I'm excited and can't wait til I finally see him/her. I hope you guys are still enjoying this. It's getting to the good part now. Will she be with Ronon or will she rekindle her romance with John? We'll see._

**Disclaimer:_ I still don't own anyone or thing in SGA Or SGC._**

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Col. Sheppard you need to come see this." Maj. Lorne said over the comlink to John

"I'm on my way Major." John's voice sounded winded like he was fighting. Probably sparring with Ronon.

"Col. Caldwell sir it's great to see you again." Lorne said as he greeted his superior officer.

"Major it's good to see you again to. I've brought back your friend." he said as Jessica stepped through the gate. Lorne's eyes met hers as hers met his and they shared a smile.

Jessica didn't know how she'd feel coming back so soon after her mother... it helped to see Lorne she knew he'd be there not as a lover, but as the friend she needed. She walked toward him as he reached out and hugged her. It felt so good to be held right now. She felt the tears burn her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. They stepped back from each other.

"Welcome back doc." Lorne said as he smiled at her

"Major it's good to be back." she said softly as she smiled at him" So, tell me what's been going on since I left?" she caught Col. Sheppard's eye and Ronon's as they came into the gate room.

"You know the usual." Lorne said as he saw John, and Ronon." Sir."

"Major I can take it from here." John said wanting to grabbed Jessica and hold her tightly to him.

Lorne looked one last time at Jessica then left.

"You know you should really be more nicer to him." she said softly

"I was nice." John said as he smiled at her _Something's wrong with her. _He could tell just be her voice and the look in her eyes.

"Ronon it's great to see you again." she said as she reached out and touched his shoulder. She felt something that she didn't want to name the moment her hand touched his bare skin.

"Like wise." he said as he felt a spark between them. _If only John wasn't still hung up on her..._ Ronon thought as his hand connected with her bare skin on her neck." Atlantis hasn't been the same since you left."

"I'll remember that you said that when you have to be at my mercy when you are injured." she joked trying to forget the brief thing she refused to name that she felt even as his hand was leaving her skin.

"Come on let's get you checked out so we can get you ready for a mission as soon as you're ready to get back out there." John said ignoring the feeling of jealousy that was creeping up his spine at the spark he noticed between Ronon and Jessica.

"Yeah, the sooner I can back to working off world the better." she said as she felt the urge to cry again, but suppressed it.

"It'll be good to have you on the team again." John said as they walked toward the infirmary.

"Col. Sheppard I need you to come to my office as soon as possible." Elizabeth said over the comlink

Jessica heard John's sigh and saw the look of regret in his eyes

"It's okay duty calls." she said as she hugged him

"I'll make it quick." he looked at Ronon" I'm trusting her safety to you for now."

"John I'm on base what could possibly happen to me here." she said as she rolled her eyes at him.

"At least we're alone now." Ronon said as he followed her inside.

"Don't you get any ideas Ronon Dex I've given up on men." she said as she flashed him a smile"You men are way too much trouble."

Ronon didn't say anything he just raised his eye brow at her as the nurse told her to sit on the bed and wait for Dr. Beckett. Ronon sat down beside her. _A man could defiantly fall for her if he wasn't carefully. Too bad Sheppard had a thing for her as well._ He thought as they waited for Dr. Beckett.


	16. An Intimate Conversation

**A/N:**_ I know I have not updated in a long time, but I didn't think anyone was still reading it. It's great that you are and I will be updating more often. Not a whole because I'm almost six months pregnant so it's getting hectic, but it's worth it! I'm going to be talking about 'Sateda' in this chapter. I saw the episode and had an idea. Well hope you all still like this._

_**Disclaimer: Nope I still don't own anyone or thing from SGA **_

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Hey Jess how you feeling?" John asked as she sat down next to him in the sparring room. She wore her up and had on a pair of loose pants with a bra top. He would admit she was beautiful although after carefully evaluation of his feelings he realized that he wanted her more as a friend than anything else.

"I'm good thanks." Jessica said. It had been almost three weeks since she had come back. Of course everyone knew about her mother, but they never said anything directly to her. She and Ronon were getting closer, but since he returned from his home planet he had been very distant from her. She wonder what he went through being back knowing he was the only survivor. It had to be rough for him." Where's Ronon at he's normally here before we are?"

"Excited about him kicking your ass again?" John asked curious as to how far her and Ronon were

"No, just worried about him since he came back." she confessed

"Yeah I know how you feel. He's like family to me." John said somberly

"He does grow on you after awhile." she said as the doors swooished open and the object of their conversation walked in.

"Hey you're late." John said

"Yeah normally you're the one telling us we're late." Jessica said as she gave him a smile.

Ronon arched an eye brow at John and gave Jessica a mischievous look just right before he advanced on her and without any warning pulled her to him as his lips connected with hers. Just as quickly he let her go and turned around to get ready to spar with John. He would save Jessica till last.

"Well, just as long as you don't kiss me I'm ready when you are." John said as he tried to hide his smile of amusement at Jessica's deer caught in headlights expression.

Jessica watched as Ronon and John spared. The whole time she was thinking what had come over him to make him kiss her.

'Col. Sheppard I need to see you in Dr. Weir's office now.' Col. Caldwell's voice came over his ear piece.

Sighing John touched the ear piece" I'm on my way." he said as he tried to catch his breath

"Go, get'em John." Jessica teased as she came out of her stupor.

"You two remember there's no lock on this door." John said as he walked out.

"Why did you kiss me?" Jessica asked the moment they were alone

Ronon just shrugged as he got ready for their sparing match

"Don't shut me out." she said as she remained sitting down where she had been.

"It was the only way to get you not to open your mouth." he said"Com on give me your best shot"

"You must have relived some pretty harsh memories." she said still not moving. She wanted him to open up to her.

"It doesn't matter it's over now." he said nonchalantly as he walked over to where she sat

"But it still bothers you." she said as she gracefully got to her feet and began to circle him. _Like a tigris does her prey. _She thought.

"No, it doesn't." he blew her off as he watched her circle him. It was kind of turning him on, but he didn't want to talk about his memories from Sateda. It still hurt.

"Yes, it does." she argued" When I went back home my mom died." she paused waiting for him to say something" It still hurts to know that all this time I was feeling sorry for myself and she was dieing." a tear fell down her cheek as she stopped behind Ronon.

"It wasn't your fault." he said as he turned around to face her. He saw her tears now and it hit him like a physical blow

"I know, but I keep thinking what if I had went home earlier." she confessed as her eyes met his" What happened to your people wasn't your fault either."

"I know, but it's like you said I keep thinking 'what if." he told her as he remembered his love from home." I saw the woman I loved die right in front of me. A village I went to after being taken by the wraith was culled because I was there."

"Don't you see Ronon it was the wraith." she tried to reason with him as her tears still fell. She could feel his pain and it hurt her to see him hurting so bad.

"It still doesn't stop the pain." he said as he gently touched her face to wipe the tears off her cheeks.

"I've been just going through the motions, but I haven't felt alive in weeks. It hurts to see someone you love die and know there was not a damn thing you could to stop it." she confessed

Ronon didn't say a word he just slowly bent his head down to hers waiting for her to say something, but when she didn't he kissed her. He tasted her tears as he deepened the kiss. He knew how she felt because he hadn't felt alive since the wraith took him. Now being in her arms he felt alive. He pulled her tightly against him so that she could feel his growing need for her. He took a step forward forcing her to step back until her back hit the wall. Her tiny arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed herself against his body. Heat flooded through her body as she felt a need for like non other. He hands roamed over her body as they explored areas covered and not. She was smooth and smelled great. It was intoxicating. She was intoxicating. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He laid her down on the floor as he began to kiss her neck. Sensations were flooding her body everywhere his lips touched. A soft sound from the doorway stopped the heated exchange of comfort. Ronon's head lifted up with a murderous glare in the door's direction. There stood John and Teyla.

"I thought I told you two that these doors didn't lock." John teased" Unless that's a new fighting... Owe." Teyla smacked his arm cause a pain to jolt through it.

"Um.. I'll see you guys later." Jessica said as Ronon helped her up to her feet.

"I'll go tell her about the up coming mission." Teyla said as she followed after Jessica

"Ronon you're like family to me and Jessica is too." John said" Just don't break her heart it's been broken enough. I should know I've broken it the most."

"I can't explain it, but she makes me feel like there's something worth fighting for. When I'm in a life threatening situation I fight so hard to come back to her." Ronon didn't know why he was confessing this to John, but it felt right.

"Are you saying you're falling in love with her?" John asked curiously

"No." he answered quickly then thought about it" I, No, I'm not capable of loving anyone else not after watching one woman I loved die. I can't do that again." he said as he left the room

John stood there for a second before he too left the room.


	17. A Fresh Start

**A/N:**_ Thanks so much for the reviews. It's nice to know people still like this story. As with all good things this story is coming to it's end. It's been a pleasure to write this story. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and the last few that will come soon._

_**Disclaimer: Nope still don't own anyone or thing in SGA.**_

**Chapter Seventeen**

Jessica's body was still on fire from Ronon's touch and kisses. Her heart was still pounding in her chest as she finally reached her room. She dropped down on the bed and laid down.

_How could I let him do that? How could I want him to do that? I just wanted him to open up not... _Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on her door. She knew it wasn't Ronon so she opened it. Teyla stood there with a soft expression on her face.

"Hey Teyla what can I do for you?" she asked as she allowed the woman to come in.

"We're expected at the gate room in less than twenty minutes. Col. Sheppard is waiting for us." she said knowing now was not the time to bring up her and Ronon.

"Tell him I can't go." Jessica said not wanting to be near Ronon so soon.

"I don't think it's a request." Teyla said not wanting John to get upset at Ronon for anything.

"I think considering what took place in the sparring room he'd understand." she said as she sat down on the edge of her bed.

"You mean he'll understand that you're a coward." Teyla said as she winced at her own harshness." I'm sorry that came out wrong, but you can't run away from what's happening with you and Ronon." she amended

"I can't get involved with him. It's not good for either of us." Jessica said softly

"It's understandable, but running away from what you feel is worst." she told her as she sat down next to her." Some things happen to us that we have no control over."

"I'm not even sure that it's Ronon I really want or just his strength and the way I feel so alive when I'm with him." she tried to make Teyla understand, but she didn't understand it herself..

"I've seen this happening between you two for a long time now." Teyla said as she looked into the other woman's eyes" I'm only surprised that it took this long to get to this point. Ronon's a good man, but like you he has been through a lot in his life."

"I know he told me about memories of a loved one when he was forced back on Sateda. I think he was majorly in love with a woman, but she died in front of him." Her voice dropped softly

"Yes, I too have thought that he was once involved." Teyla said as she gave her a smile

"Let's go on this mission and just get through it then all this will fix itself." Jessica said as she stood up not wanting to talk about her feelings anymore.

"Okay." Teyla said as the two walked out toward the gate room.

John, Rodney, and Ronon were all waiting for them.

"It's about time you two made it." John said as he looked at Jessica instantly memories of what he saw happen between her and Ronon flashed into his head. He shook them off and went toward the gate.

"He is in some kind of a mood." Rodney said as he looked at Ronon.

"Yes, he is." Jessica said as she gave Ronon a smug smile.

Rodney went through the gate followed by Teyla just as Jessica was about to go through the gate Ronon grabbed her arm.

"When we come back from this mission we'll pick up where we left off in a more private room. Yours or mine?" he asked as he leaned closer to her ear

"Ronon I don't think we should." Jessica said as she tried to move forward

"My room it is." he said as he went ahead of her.

She let out an exasperated breath of air as she too went through.

She was met with a huge cat in front of her. She gasped as the gate closed. The cat sniffed her then licked her face as it rubbed it's furry face against hers. Her eyes darted to the rest of the team.

"Slowly walk toward us." John said calmly not wanting the cat to eat her.

It was bigger than a lion, but the color of a panther. It's eyes were bright blue.

"I don't think it wants me to move." Jessica said calmly

"Then stay there and get eaten." Rodney snapped wanting to get away from the cat.

"Shut up Rodney." John said not wanting the cat to get angry.

Slowly Jessica made her way around the cat. Instead of pouncing on her it yawned and laid down.

"It wants me to pet it." Jessica said as she relaxed and smiled

"No, it wants to eat you, but go ahead and pet it." Rodney said

Ronon's hand reached out to Jessica arm and pulled her toward him. Her soft body collided with his hard body.

"Um, I'm fine you can let me go." Jessica said as her eyes darted up to his and then back down

"Come on people lets move before it comes back." John said as they started walking.

Jessica was in front of Ronon with Teyla in front of her. Rodney on the other hand was in front of Teyla apparently he was afraid of the cat. Ever so often she could feel Ronon's hand 'accidently' brush her ass. She just shook it off as she kept walking.


	18. A New Place

**A/N:**_ Thank you for the nice reviews. It does a writer good. I probably won't be able to update as often I gotta go have those lovely pregnancy check ups and I'm in the process of moving. So, I hope you like this chapter._

_Disclaimer: Nope still don't own anyone or thing from SGA._

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Col. Sheppard maybe me or Teyla should do all the talking?" Jessica said as they walked into a village full of women. Not just women, but beautiful women.

" I think I know how to talk to women." John said as he looked over at Jessica." Are you okay you look a little uneasy?"

"Yeah I just fell a little sick." she said as she felt like her head was floating off her shoulders. _Must be a cold bug._ She thought as a woman with long wavy blonde hair and legs up to her shoulders came up to them. She wore a long white dress with slits up to her upper thigh. Her eyes sparkled blue as she smiled brightly.

"Hello and welcome to Cosmic." the woman said as she eyed John and Ronon." My name is Celestal."

"Thank you." John said" I'm Lt. Col. John Sheppard. This is Dr. Jessica Landry. Teyla Emmagan. Dr. Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex.."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Celestal said pleasingly as she smiled flirtatiously at John.

Jessica didn't like the way the women were looking at John and Ronon. Mainly Ronon she felt this urge to scratch the women's eyes out. How dare they look at Ronon the way she was starting to. They followed the woman through out her village. She introduced them all one by to each passing female that they saw. This was every mans dream. Beautiful women in paradise. Tall sparkling water falls where around every corner. Every kind of rose or exotic flower Jessica had ever saw or even imagined lined the paths they walked down. She paused at the edge of this stream because she saw a unicorn. It was like a dream that she didn't want to wake up from. She felt a strong hand on her shoulder and knew without turning around that it was Ronon.

"This is amazing." Jessica whispered as she leaned into his touch.

"They are sacred beings." Celestal said referring to the unicorn.

"She's beautiful." Jessica said as the unicorn's head came up.

It looked directly into Jessica's eyes. A funny sensation went down her spine and her heart felt light. She smiled. The unicorn walked toward her and once it was just a few inches in front of her it stopped.

"Her name is Wisdom." Celestal said" She is the youngest of her family and the only one that allows us to touch her. It is said that she will choose the one she thinks is worthy of her touch." Celestal's eyes sparkled as she watched the unicorn" We've never known an outsider that she has willingly come up to like this."

"Maybe she likes my bedside manner." Jessica joked amazed at what she was seeing before her.

"She can seeing into your soul." Celestal said" She knows that you would not hurt her."

The unicorn bowed it's head as it knelt before Jessica. It was the most peaceful moment Jessica had ever felt.

"It's okay to touch her if you want." Celestal said softly

Jessica slowly leaned in and gently stroked the creatures head.

"Oh great she gets to touch a magical creature and what do we get?" Rodney asked as the unicorn stood up and walked back to the stream.

"Rodney don't whine." John said as he teased him" Well, get you one of your own."

"That was great." Jessica said as she felt like she was going to pass out. She swayed a little, but Ronon caught her.

"Are you alright?" Teyla asked as she looked at her flushed face

"Yeah I've been feeling weird for a few days now." she said as they went inside this beautiful house. It was like an old Victorian style home.

"It will be dark soon and no one is allowed out." Celestal said

"Why not?" John asked as they all sat at a table.

"We have creatures that will drain your life." she said as she poured what looked like tea into some glasses

"Wraith." Jessica said knowing without anymore details who she was talking about.

"We call them the night hunters. They only come here at night and feed on innocents that wonder out." Celestal finished

"First thing in the morning we'll head back to the gate." John said

"I will show you to your rooms." Celestal said

They went up stairs that curved into a circle as they went up. The chandler was like a bunch of tiny diamonds hanging from the ceiling. The first room they came up to was John's. Inside it had deep red flooring with matching curtains. The bed was a four poster cherry wood frame. The covering was also a deep red. It had a nice warm feeling to it.

"This will be your room Col. Sheppard." Celestal said

They walked out and a little ways down was the room that Teyla was to stay in. Oddly enough it was a very deep pinkish color with a canopy bed that had a sheer pink canopy over it. It was beautifully warm.

Next was Rodney's which was a Royal Blue color with a four poster bed. Very calming. Then you had Ronon's room which was deep hunter green. The bed was a canopy bed that had sheer green curtains. The feeling of the room was protective and safe.

"Jessica you too will share this room with Ronon." Celestal said

"Oh I don't think it would be a good idea." Jessica said not wanting to share a room with Ronon.

"You'll be safer with him." She insisted without leaving room for arguments.

Everyone left to go to their own rooms for the night. Jessica looked over at Ronon who had this predatory expression on his face as he gave her a smile. This was going to be a night she would never be able to forget. She felt very light headed and if it hadn't been for Ronon she would've fell to the ground Something wasn't right she could feel it.

"Here lay down." Ronon said as he called for Sheppard to come to thier aide.


	19. In Sickness and Sandy Beaches

**A/N:**_ Hey it's me again. I know it's been a while, but I've been busy. The pregnancy is going great now. I'm looking forward to her birth. I still can't believe this little angel chose me to be her mom. It's really amazing. All the morning sickness is gone so now I'm at that feel good stage. Three VERY long months to go, but it'll be all worth it when I can see her beautiful little face. Anyhow I hope you guys like these next two chapters because this is it for me. It took me a while, but I've finally finished this story. I've enjoyed writing so I hope you guys have enjoyed reading it. Well, let me know what you guys think good or bad._

**Disclaimer:_ Nope I still don't own anything or one in SGA._**

Chapter Nineteen

"Here this should brake the fever." Jessica heard Dr. Beckett's soft voice as she slowly began to wake up. Her head felt light and she was soaked with sweat. A soft moan left her lips as she came to a full awake state of mind.

"Hey you." John said as he touched her forehead it was burning up. Ronon had came to get them last night when she passed out in his arms. He was worried about her and had not left her side not even when Carson diagnosed her with the flu and said it was contagious. He didn't care he wanted to stay with her. John had to admit he was a little bit jealous of how close the two had gotten. He wished that he could be that man that took care of her, but since he couldn't he was glad it was Ronon.

"I'm thirsty." she said softly her throat was so scratchy and she felt like she had been ran over then reran over.

"Here drink this it'll make you feel better." Beckett said as he handed her some water. She looked very pale.

"What happened?" she asked as she sat up

"You passed out on Ronon last night and after checking you out Dr. Beckett here says you have a good ole' case of the flu." John told her as he looked at her face. As pale as it was he still saw the beauty that she could never hide.

"Where is Ronon?" she asked curious.

"He's cleaning up." John said

"When did we get back to Atlantis?" she asked as she finally looked around and realized she was in the infirmary.

"When we realized how sick you were we had to bring you back here. We just got here a few hours ago." John told her as she saw Ronon come in.

"Hey." Ronon said as he walked over to her side. He was glad to see her awake. He was worried that he was going to lose her.

"Sorry I passed out on you last night." she said as she looked down at her hands

"It's okay I can't say that I'm use to it because you're the first woman to faint on me." he told her teasingly

"What can I say I had a reason to." she said as she looked into his eyes." Thanks for taking care of me."

He just shrugged.

"I've gotta go fill Elizabeth in on what happened and then I'll be back to check on you." John said as he left the room.

"So, you know that after you being sick all night as soon as you feel better you're going have to make it up to me." Ronon said as he sat next to her side.

"That is if I haven't given you the flu." she said as she smiled at him. She really was falling for this guy. This amazing guy that somehow came into her life and turned it upside down.

"I rarely get sick." he Siad as he leaned forward to place a kiss on her lips.

She returned his kiss not feeling up to fighting him.

"I'm going to go and let you get some rest." he said as he kissed her again and then left her alone.

She found herself falling asleep with a smile on her face. It was nice to finally let go of every rule and just enjoy life.

A few weeks later Jessica found herself spending more and more time with Ronon. She had recovered from her flue and surprisingly Ronon had not gotten sick. Now here they were sitting on the mainland at the edge of one of the beaches. The soft waves from the water gently splashed against her feet. She laughed as she turned to look at Ronon. This was what made life worth the living. All the fighting and blood shed was worth it for one moment like this. He walked up to her and without another thought she shoved him into the water. He instantly grabbed her by the waist pulling her in with him. Both landed in the cool water. They wrestled with each other trying to knock the other under the water and get to land before they came back up. It was fun. By the time they did reach land they were both soaked and out of breath. Jessica was out of breath so she laid on the sand with her feet still in the water. Ronon laid beside her propped up on his elbow as he looked down at her face. She looked so beautiful he was struck by her beauty that glowed from the inside. Without a word he leaned down and kissed her full on the lips. She didn't resist.

"Ronon I want you so much right now." she confessed softly as she put her hands on either side of his face.

"I've wanted you since that day in the sparing room. I think before that, but I was giving you space then you got sick and I wasn't sure what was going to happen. If we take that next step I can't let you go afterwards and pretend nothing happened." He was giving her a way out and she knew it. He searched her eyes.

"That's good because my heart is already involved with you. I can not just leave here and go back to how we use to be." she told him honestly as he kissed her deeply.

He moved his hands over her body wanting to feel every inch of it. He moved to where he was on top of her. He kissed her neck as he unbuttoned her shirt. Each newly exposed area he kissed. Her skin tasted like the salt from the ocean. The feel of her skin was soft and cool as he exposed her skin. Once her wet top of off he moved on to taking the rest of her clothes off. Once he was done with her clothes she returned the favor by removing his clothes. She kissed his neck and the tiny scar left by the wraith then she pulled his head down to hers and kissed his lips. Nothing felt more right than this did. Every touch. Every kiss. It just felt right to be here on this beach with him. His touch felt like heaven. Their coming together felt like coming home to both of them. They didn't have to say anything to know how the other felt. Making love right here was like a piece of heaven in a world where fighting was still going on.


	20. Moonlight Love

**A/N:**_ This is it for this story. I'm glad you all have enjoyed reading this story. Thanks to everyone that gave a review and kept up with the story til the end. It is greatly appreciated._

_**Disclaimer: Nope I still don't own anyone or thing in SGA.**_

**Chapter Twenty**

A few weeks went by and work made it harder for Ronon and Jessica to be together. Tonight was the only both had off and Jessica wanted to make this a special night for them both. She had walked all over the city looking for a nice quite spot just for the two of them. She found it way at the far side of the city. A balcony over looking the beauty of the city and the water below. The moon was full and the stars bright so it was the prefect night. A soft breeze blew through her hair as she prepared a table with two candles in the center surrounded by red, white and pink rose petals. A sweet dinner that she talked the chef into making just for her and Ronon. Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest as she finished the final preparations then she picked up the little ear piece she took from Rodney. She took a deep breath. She wore a nice deep blue dress that reach mid thigh and thin straps lined with diamonds. Her hair was swept up into a clip and she wore a beautiful smile.

"Ronon this is Jessica I need you." she said as she waited for him to come back. She hoped that she didn't get anyone else.

"Are you okay?" his voice came back sounding concerned.

"I'm fine." she Siad suddenly feeling like a teenager about to have her first date with the hottest guy in school.

"Where are you at?" he asked

"The far side of the city." she said as she smiled

"I'm on my way." he said

She was excited as she waited for him. She took one last look at the table and setting. She then walked to the railing and turned so that she was facing the door when he walked in. Her heart nearly skipped a beat as he came through the door. Their eyes met and it was like magic as he walked closer to her. Her smile spread across her lips like wildfire.

"I hope I didn't pull you away from work." she said sweetly as she closed the distance between them and touched his face with her hands.

"When it comes to you I'm never busy." he said as he kissed her softly

"Well, I thought we both needed a night to our selves." she said as she turned toward the table.

"Yes, we do." he said as they sat down." This is very beautiful."

"Thanks." she said

After dinner they stood starring into the water bath only in moon and starlight.

"I say we make this an even better night by going to bed." Ronon suggested as he kissed the side of her neck.

"I think that's a great idea." she said as they went back to his room that had become their room.

"Tonight is a turning point for us." Ronon said as he took her hands in his as he lead her to his bed.

"This is a step for us to a better life with each other." she said as he laid her down.

"I love you." he said softly as he kissed her.

"Ronon I love you too." she said as he gently brushed the straps of her dress down her arms.

Ronon loved the feel of her skin as he slowly slid her dress off he could already see the tiny goose bumps that formed on her skin. The dress was down to her waist when she flipped him over onto his back and straddled him. Her breast were bare and his eyes fixed on them. She leaned down and kissed him fully on his lips her breast brushed against his shirt. She sat up he sat up with her so that she could remove his shirt. She smiled into his face as they once again kissed. Her beast were crushed against his chest the feel of skin against skin sent sensation after sensation down her spine. He rolled them until he was on top of her. Her dress was quickly removed as was her tiny panties. They ended up thrown on the floor along with his shirt and his pants. He kissed her skin all the way down to her navel.

"I found my reason for coming back from every mission." he said as he kissed her face" I come back for you. I fight to stay alive because I know you're waiting for me."

"My home is where you are." she said to him as they kissed passionately

"As is my home with you." he said as he kissed her neck.

"I want you inside of me." she muttered against his neck as she arched her self against him.

He didn't have to be told twice. They made love not worrying about anything. They only knew what they had right now. It was magic. They had the rest of their lives to worry about all the bad stuff. Skin touching skin. Lips touching lips. Jessica's hands roamed over his back finding their way down to his buttocks. His hands found their way to her breast as they kneaded them and his lips kissed them til they puckered up. Soft sighs and mutter words were all that could be heard the room. Sometime later Jessica found her self laying curled up to Ronon's side with her hand on his chest. She needed a camera to photograph this moment. Neither one said anything they just lay there basking in the glorious aftermath of their love making. Nothing else really matter to them. Everything else would work itself out. They could deal with anything as long as they were together.


End file.
